MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
