Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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