I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
