All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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