Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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