I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
