is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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