What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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