Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I'm sobbing to NWA
She made me pour olive oil on her.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
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