You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
