Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
