Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
