spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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