How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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