Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
