Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
