so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
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