so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
