Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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