Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
My vagina just recognized that song.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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