he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
