she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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