Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
