Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
