names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize