I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
