Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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