I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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