do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
My first STD was from a foam party
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
