So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
