he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
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Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
