Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
