The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
