I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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