I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
