you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
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