Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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