is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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