i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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