I love having hate sex.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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