I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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