Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
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