ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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