You work out of a Hotel?
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
