Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Randomize