If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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