my vag is so smooth its legendary
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize