oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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