She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
