Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
