And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Randomize
