GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
