went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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