Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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