Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Randomize