Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
