sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
