he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I supernannyed him into submission
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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