Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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