It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Dicks are not precious.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
